Growth has a way of shifting our perspectives and allowing us to acknowledge that we need more depth as we understand who we are and what our mandate is in the present, in our lives. At first,friendships didn’t have to be intentionally invested in,or have a specific purpose for me however that has come to change.

I’m in a season where God has taken me out of isolation and is allowing me to cultivate my own community where I can serve just as I am served.
I must say that growth,self love and mostly continuing to understand the love of God the Father has enabled me to heal,set standards and to acknowledge my part in friendships. I have not been the greatest of friends.

I have to admit that there are factors or traits that have made me toxic. I have struggled to communicate. I have resorted to distance when I needed to voice out my challenges. I have struggled to receive love in it’s fullness with knowing that it would have enabled me to be vulnerable and at a state of need,which automatically leaves me in a position of being able to be hurt,a position of dependence and due to past experiences, I have felt the need to protect myself.

God had to deal with many of those negative traits that I possessed. He had to make me realize that friendships do not define my life among other things.I am still in that process. Click To Tweet

I used to idolize friendships. I would do so much to be accepted(Note: that’s no friendship). I have also had beautiful, meaningful friendships that even though some have changed as growth has occurred, the essence of it all was pure. Friendships that have held me accountable while leaving me on the ground in laughter at the same time.

I believe that God then decided to allow a season of growth and isolation. In that duration ,I lost friendships and I even ended some. I kept some friendships which were not as intimate.
It’s different when you idolize relationships. In idolatry,we dethrone God( it is of course impossible in the real sense ,but that occurs in our world) and we search for characteristics that we need to find from God from other people.
God had to deal with many of those negative traits that I possessed. He had to make me realize that friendships do not define my life among other things.I am still in that process.

•When God starts to be enough and you recognize that YOU ARE WORTHY,you choose different

•Do not embrace friendships that speak down on you. You were not born to shrink. Befriend people who can allow and support you as you soar
Hebrews 10:38(AMP)

•Some seasons of friendships end and that is okay(Proverbs 18:24). You can still clap for them when they win. There should be no enmity in that.

•Ask God to be a part of your friendships,to be your protection and have a say in who needs to be in your life. Allow him to “hire and fire” accordingly. Some people may be genuine but they might not be for your journey. It is so difficult to allow the process of elimination but God sees what we cannot see.

•Be patient with yourself. Be patient with people. Do not just cancel friendships. A pure heart can also make mistakes.

May we learn from the greatest friend of all,the King -Jesus. May we find friendships that keep us accountable and allow us to be. May we cultivate friendships that are of love and purity,of good intentions. May we learn to forgive and embrace what God gifts us with. May we embrace the love we find in friendships and may we also serve with love and a pure heart.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].
Proverbs 27:17 AMP

𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗕𝗬: Musa Buthelezi
𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗠: @owenkosi_umusa


  1. Woow the point about God seeing what we can’t see… Let’s learn to trust his choices for us, I pray for strength to forget the friendships that still hurt me today

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