2020 has been a low year but also a year of so many lessons. One of my greatest lessons has been the lesson of knowing that God’s love is not dependent on me doing right,which in no way justifies doing him wrong.
I come from a warm,loving & spiritually grounded family,but the outside world was harsh on me. Multiple traumas were the product,rejection being one of them. Due to the fear of rejection, I’d overdo,overwork, over compensate and this fell through to my relationship with God.
When I rededicated my life to Christ at 18,I was so conscious to not do God wrong that I’d be so hard on myself for the mistakes I made along my journey of faith. Every mess up was an opportunity for me to beat myself up for days. Here is one recent example:
One of my recent breakthroughs has been one of a pure mind. Now,the devil can throw thoughts in our minds hence it is a battlefield however, how we respond to them determines our thoughts being sinful and ending up giving birth to sin through actions.
Now when I struggled to keep them in check,I was so afraid that God would reject me. I’d go to God repenting all the time. Had I known that Grace is a gift as I do now,I’d have long shut the devil from playing me. Had I also known that repentance is a gift and that God forgives our sins right there and then,I’d have never been played like this.
A revelation came forth from the book of Ruth. This is a woman who comes from an idolatrous background, having no knowledge whatsoever of Jesus.She then has a covenant with the God of Naomi,the God of Israel whose nature is foreign to her.
God’s GRACE assisted her in this new journey. In the same way as children of God some of us have backgrounds, traumas that have our perspectives twisted and our beliefs messed up that God’s great grace is availing itself to take us through this journey,this beautiful relationship and we don’t need to be hard on ourselves or fear that God won’t see our efforts and openness to receiving his grace and overcoming what was indoctrinated in us.
Through this journey, I then discovered:
1. WE DO NOT WORK FOR GOD’S LOVE
He purely loves you. John 3:16 states it so clear. For God so LOVED THE WORLD.I don’t come before the throne of God because of perfection. That then cancels Jesus’ whole mission on earth. Our works will never make God love us any more or less.
2. SALVATION IS A JOURNEY-BEING PERFECTED IN ONE AREA AT A TIME
The myth is ,you come to Jesus today. You’re perfected(being made right with him,not the worldly definition of perfection) right there. Salvation is a journey. God works in us on one challenge,we conquer and on to the next. There is no need to beat yourself up when your heart is pure. This leads to my next point.
3.GOD SEES YOUR HEART
1 Samuel 16:7 speaks about God recognising the heart. This is what speaks to God at most. The posture of our hearts and the willingness to do right by God.
4. GOD IS A FORGIVER.ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SIN, ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND MOVE ON RIGHT THEN
Because God has forgiven you just like that,not forgiving ourselves hinders our relationship with God. We are wasting our time on dwelling on such.
With having said this,I still reiterate, God’s love is enough. His love is strong. He will NEVER love us any less. Keep on striving to do your best,with the help of his Great Grace.
God loves you!
𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆: Musa Buthelezi