DEVOTION

A LIFE WELL LIVED

A piercing thought streamlined through my mind quite a lot during the 27th of my life. I had just finished posting a congratulatory message after hearing that a beloved childhood friend was expecting her first baby. We had been a part of each other’s lives throughout our entire existence, and it was in this moment, that I realized time had done its thing again. It had bamboozled it’s way through our lives uninvited and we now found ourselves having to navigate our lives as adults or as I say; Kidults, haha! A few days prior to receiving this news, I had just witnessed the engagement of a couple I had met through an acquaintance. A young couple whose eyes were filled with sheer joy and excitement for the new chapter ahead.

Growing up, I had been sold the ideal version of life and that it entailed having a secure job with tremendous benefits, a flamboyant house in the suburbs with intricate security details, a handsome husband who should be on the Forbes list, as well as many babies with a super nanny to take care of them. If I could paint a picture of how I grew up, I wouldn’t say it completely fit into this ideal template but there was an incredible level of privilege. I was raised by two rural-based parents who made it to the big city and chased after their dreams to build this ideal version of life the best way they could not only for themselves but for their children too. All these things seemed to be the basis on which we defined ‘a life well lived.’

I had been sold the ideal version of life and that it entailed having a secure job with tremendous benefits, a flamboyant house in the suburbs with intricate security details, a handsome husband who should be on the Forbes list, as well as many babies with a super nanny to take care of them.

I looked back on these ideals and I found myself in a reality that was nowhere close to this idealversion of a life well lived, and subsequently having to deal with the growing pains and insecurities of not being able to hit certain societal benchmarks. I inherently carried within me a strong sense of dissatisfaction that only seemed to show and affirm the absence of my belief that God could truly satisfy. It made me question my faith and to gauge on what basis my worth was defined. Did I truly understand my worth as a child of God? I found myself asking this a lot. One of my biggest fears today has been taking things into my own hands and not being able to exercise patience as I’m reminded of the story of Sarah on the historical consequences of blurred lines (Genesis 16-17).

Sarah stepped in to fulfill a societal demand due to the pressure her own insecurities had brought up on her. In the end, the choices of one woman, affected the lives of three people: Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael. Abraham had a role to play as a father and I can only speculate how he felt having to separate from his son because regardless of being born through a seed of insecurity, Ishmael was still his son. We may never fully understand what Hagar may have felt through this ordeal but if I were her, I would have felt used. Abandoned. I would have questioned my worth. In the end, despite the mistake, God remembered them all. God was still Jehovah Jireh in Hagar and Ishmael’s lives.

There’s so much that we can concede to as a way to prove that we too can have the ideal life like the rest of our peers. But I wouldn’t want to live the rest of my life paying for the mistakes I made because of insecurities or trauma or trying to meet societal standards either.

I had to realize that in the vastness of His wisdom, God, the Creator, designed the universe and everything that’s in it, because He saw that it was good. He saw that it was good for you to be here. Regardless of the numerous realities that may befall us, regardless of what you may think your life should be like, He saw that it was good that you be here. So however way we decide to define a life well lived, may we remember that it takes a heart that has found true satisfaction in the Great I Am and His promises for us today. May we find our worth in that.

To my sister that feels like she’s already lost the best days of her youth and that you can never recover from it all, remember that God is a God who not only provides, but He is a God ofrestoration.

𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆:Michelle Mudzengi 

𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆: Zimbabwe 

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