When I look back at my dating life I wish it had settled in my heart how valued I am, how loved and precious I am and how I’m seen in every aspect by the One who called me by name, who created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb – Psalm 139:13. I am seen by the one who determines the number of stars in the sky and calls them by name! – Psalm 147:4
When we understand in our hearts that we’ve been made Holy by the sacrifice of Jesus (Hebrews 10:10), dating and courting become a holy act itself. We were created for a purpose. Whether we believe it or not, He created us with intention. It can take time to realize how important we are to Abba Father, and to understand our true value and worth in Him. The absence of this realization and understanding leaves us feeling like we need to fill a void, which we often do with things of this world, or as if we need a partner to feel satisfied. The truth is that only when we seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, will everything else be added unto us – Matthew 6:33. This means that when we keep our hearts and minds focused on Jesus and His will for our lives, He will satisfy us in ways that this world or a partner couldn’t match – John 6:35.
In order to set our eyes on the things above and understand who we truly are, we need to understand that it’s only Jesus who saves. When we declare with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, then we will be saved – Romans 10:9-10. When we are saved, we receive the Spirit of God, and we are adopted as His own children, heirs to the Kingdom of heaven – Romans 8:15-17. God the Father sent His Only Son to die, so that we can be saved.
Jesus, “though He was God, did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges, and He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.” Philippians 2:6-8
When Jesus died, He paid the price of sin and death. We all sin and fall short of His glory – Romans 3:23. But because Jesus sacrificed Himself, He reconciled us back to the Father, creating a way for us to have an intimate relationship with the Father and understand His love for us and who we are in Him – Sons and Daughters of a KING. If this is used as our starting point and baseline in our lives, then we can begin to understand our worth, our value, and in whom we find our identity. Understanding this is so important in a world that values wealth and status, focuses on physical appearance and possessions, causing us to fall prey to comparison and prioritizing experiences over spiritual disciplines.
If we aren’t focused on success in our careers, relationships, academia and wealth then we find ourselves promoting self – love; peace and contentment in the universe and visual realism (in art it refers to lifelike paintings and in our lives we share accurate and detailed depictions of our everyday life, showing others how real we are, all the while never truly feeling free). This is what the world promotes. And dating in a world like this, we’re bound to end up hurt, traumatised, and alone. But take heart, for Jesus has overcome the world – John 16:33
How can we sincerely give ourselves to someone else when we don’t know who or whose we are?
God loves marriage, as it demonstrates the kind of sacrificial love He has for us, but He considers being single a gift. It’s an opportunity to be concerned with the things of the Lord – 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 and learn about how, as an individual, you can get rid of the “I factor” and include more of Him in your life – John 3:30.
How can we sincerely give ourselves to someone else when we don’t know who or whose we are? We go through life placing our value on the things of this world; prioritizing external qualities; lacking in self-control; having relationships with no emotional and sexual boundaries, and investing in chemistry over spiritual connection and compatibility, breaking down the sanctity that should be associated with dating and courtship. When we prioritize our character, practice the fruit of the Spirit, practice purity, guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), invest our time and effort into developing spiritual connections and friendship, set healthy boundaries, and surround ourselves with like-minded people, then we can truly experience the sanctity and Holiness of dating to marry!
𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆:Seymone Earnest
𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆: Gqeberha, Eastern Cape, South Africa
