Given the complex details of life, how often do we find ourselves at crossroads with ourselves and having to hold a mirror up to the consequences of our own actions? How well do we deal with confrontation when we literally have to stare at the man in the mirror because of the things we deliberately or unconsciously played a part in? For the longest time I could remember, I have often many times found myself trapped in cycles self loathe and judgement. In light of this, it also opened me up to the revelation of how I was a person who literally ran away from confrontation because I was afraid of dealing with my own shortcomings and being reminded of my own inadequacies. The trap that this behavior set is that, unless things were addressed, feelings lingered. And these usually have a compounding effect until strongholds are formed.
This is how we often become people who live with chips on their shoulders. As most therapist’s would advise, I introspectively tried to trace the root cause of these feelings in an effort to work myself out of this dark reality. One fateful day, I stumbled across a song by one of my favorite gospel artists by the name, Jonathan McReynolds titled, People. As I soulfully immersed myself in rhythmic praise and worship, feelings of remorse started flooding in as I became awakened to the reality of my wounds. Wounds I had walked around with that I not only had inflicted on myself but also because of what people have said or done to me. And then I found myself in the worst-case scenario: Blaming God for allowing these people to hurt me!
I soon began to awaken to the reality that God does not allow bad things to happen to us. He is a loving father with a great plan for each and every one of His beloved people. However, we often place ourselves in situations where we give the devil the opportunity to defer us from the promises Jesus Christ has given us. Toxic environments are everywhere (in the home, on the bus, at work, in the school gym, at the supermarket, even in the church) and they have inherently caused recurring patterns in most of us where we inflict such pains on other people too. But we have never and will not fight against flesh in this lifetime (Ephesians 6: 12 – For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age). We always ought to remember who the real enemy is! If I could count how many, people, I’ve hurt because of what other people did to me it would be unbearable.
The conversion of Saul in Damascus and the beginning of his discipleship is a beautiful example of the effect of toxic behavior on others. Before Saul encountered God, he lived a life of pain. He caused so much trouble for other people and there’s no knowing the kind of psychological effects and impact this also had on him. In Acts 9 (verses 11-31) we see Saul coming to the full grace of God and finding redemption. But the works and the pain caused by Saul still lingered among some people. The anger they held against him even led to a plot against him (Acts 9: 23-25). Had it not been for God’s own agenda with Saul, things would have resulted a little differently. This man, who we now know as Paul, went on to inspire a large portion of the New Testament.
In wrongdoing, have a teachable heart that knows to yield and acknowledge when we are out of line. You might have hurt a few people in your lifetime but now would be the perfect time to stop and forgive the people that hurt you and ask God the Redeemer to forgive you for the people that you’ve hurt because of wounds you refused to let heal.
Now let’s look at it this way – Someone does something terribly bad to you, you become hurt and do not forgive and then you go on and do the same exact thing to someone else then what? Cycles! We endlessly create more monsters when forgiveness is eradicated from the picture. In confrontation, exercise the fruit of the Spirit and do so in humility. In wrongdoing, have a teachable heart that knows to yield and acknowledge when we are out of line. You might have hurt a few people in your lifetime but now would be the perfect time to stop and forgive the people that hurt you and ask God the Redeemer to forgive you for the people that you’ve hurt because of wounds you refused to let heal. It’s time to finally close the door and allow God to smile on you too. God will not open Himself up to a vessel filled with dishonor, anger and resentment. Injustice will always prevail in this world but with Jesus in our lives we have endless peace and in times of pain he remains Sovereign. Rejoice in the goodness of God today. Rejoice in forgiveness. Rejoice in healing.
𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆:Michelle Mudzengi
𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆: Zimbabwe
Thank you so much for sharing this Michelle.
I’ve been in a season of doubt and fear that has lasted more than it should have, mainly because I have been too afraid to look at the man in the mirror. Not just myself by the Man in whose image I am made, and suffered terribly as a result. In the steady unfolding and peeling of pride and the raging self-induced despair the view in the mirror looks so different. There is more light than darkness and for that I’m so glad.